Avast, Nottingham Landlubbers.
Today, Tuesday 19th September, be International Talk Like A Pirate Day ‘n whilst ye be hoistin’ th’ main sail (‘n havin’ yer literacy ‘n maths lessons in school) why nah give th’ pirate lingo a go, like me – Captain Nottsbeard!
Wit’ today bein’ such an important day in th’ pirate calendar ‘n in an attempt t’ stave off scurvy, we’ve collected our favourite jokes fer all ye mini-mariners out thar.
Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.
Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.
Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.
Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie
Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear.
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.
Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
A: Right where ye left him.
Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!
Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious?
A: Take away the ‘p’.
Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
Q: What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A: I, I, R and the seven C’s
This weekend is Heritage Open Day, which gives you free entry to loads of brilliant museums and heritage centres across the UK. This includes many places in Nottingham, which, along with Nottingham Mela, is making this weekend one of the most vibrant, diverse and cultural of the year! With this in mind we’ve created a list of some of the places you can go this weekend for free!
Want to visit Nottingham’s own Hogwarts? Well, Bromley House Library in the Old Market Square with its spiral staircases and leather-bound books is the place for you. You can head into Nottingham’s historic Lace Market for a range of events at Debbie Bryan as part of the Heart of Heritage event happening among the former factories and warehouses of Nottingham’s industrial revolution boom. The nearby Adams Building, another of our lace warehouses, is also open for you to explore.
Free opportunity for schools to become a leader in Anti-Bullying practice
Do you want your school to lead the way in tackling bullying of children and young people?
Do you want to evidence effective practice in safeguarding children from bullying to Ofsted?
All Together will help you achieve this.
Each school can bring up to two staff to the training sessions. One of these places must be a member of your school Senior Leadership Team e.g. Head Teacher, Deputy Heads, SENCos, Anti-Bullying Leads, etc. This is so that we have staff who are able to implement whole school change.