Avast, Nottingham Landlubbers.
Today, Tuesday 19th September, be International Talk Like A Pirate Day ‘n whilst ye be hoistin’ th’ main sail (‘n havin’ yer literacy ‘n maths lessons in school) why nah give th’ pirate lingo a go, like me – Captain Nottsbeard!
Wit’ today bein’ such an important day in th’ pirate calendar ‘n in an attempt t’ stave off scurvy, we’ve collected our favourite jokes fer all ye mini-mariners out thar.
Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.
Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.
Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.
Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie
Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear.
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.
Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
A: Right where ye left him.
Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!
Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious?
A: Take away the ‘p’.
Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
Q: What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A: I, I, R and the seven C’s